


i never gave you aught

by smoothmovebro



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Crack, Hamilton References, Humor, M/M, References to Shakespeare, musical characters being secret musical fans, no homo moments that are totally homo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 07:44:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12649191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoothmovebro/pseuds/smoothmovebro
Summary: Rich and Jeremy are stuck together for an English assignment where Rich has to play Ophelia and Jeremy plays Hamlet. They bond over working on the assignment and Rich may or may not start to develop feelings...





	i never gave you aught

**Author's Note:**

> written for nanowrimo 2017  
> title from shakespeare's hamlet (act 3, scene 1, line 98 for the nerds)  
>  ~~i reeealllyy should stop cramming these things~~  
>  i think at this point i should elaborate that i only ever glance over these things once before posting. these fics are super unbeta'd it's not even funny

“Well, well, well. We seem to be short on girls.”

Mr. Reyes surveys the classroom and finds that two boys don’t have girl partners for the English assignment. The students are meant to create a scene that elaborates on the romantic gestures Hamlet has been doing for Ophelia. She describes of her courtship in her scene with her brother Laertes in the third scene of the play. Mr. Reyes has paired off the class: the boys play Hamlet; the girls play Ophelia.

Unfortunately, Richard Goranski and Jeremy Heere do not have partners.

The two boys are at their desks, the only ones sitting. The two boys glare at each other from over their shoulders and huff. “Fine,” Rich says. “But only if-”

“Rich, you’re shorter. You get to play Ophelia.”

Rich stands up and protests. “Sir! This is heightism and I won’t stand for this!”

Jeremy snickers. “Stand…” he repeats. Rich stalks over to Jeremy’s desk and slams his hands on the table.

“Shut up, tallass!”

“Now, now,” Mr. Reyes says. “You’re paired up. Rich plays Ophelia, Jeremy plays Hamlet. No one’s happy, we all do our work. Agreed?” He doesn’t wait for a response as he continues to elaborate on his expectations of the assignment.

Rich deflates in the desk beside Jeremy’s. “Hope you’re happy to do a lot of the work, tallass. Can’t fucking understand Shakespeare for shit.”

Jeremy gawks at the blatant disdain for the man. “Are you kidding? Shakespeare is a great playwright! He’s probably one of the most influential composers of English literature-”

“Alright, alright,” Rich says with a laugh. “I know you’re a nerd but like… not that much of a nerd, you know.”

The rest of the class passes by with Mr. Reyes letting everyone do their own thing and collaborate on composing the script for their 5-minute scene. Jeremy brings out a pen and paper and starts scribbling on it.

Rich peers over at Jeremy’s work and his brows raise when he sees that Jeremy has manually written out a play script. Like, an actual play script complete with that formatting where the character name is at the centre in capital letters and their line is centre-aligned but with a narrower margin on either side of the page. It was almost like looking at someone type up a script.

As he reads over what Jeremy writes, he blushes at the stage direction but lets Jeremy write anyway. Beats having to actually contribute.

“You’re gonna be editing this,” Jeremy says, as if reading Rich’s thoughts. The other boy sputters.

“Come on, man! Can’t I just read the script and perform and practice with you? My head hurts trying to understand the lingo-”

Jeremy puts his pen down and looks at Rich with stern eyes. “You did ‘Midsummer Nightmare’ last year with me. You were at rehearsal. I saw you.”

Rich scoffs. “I was only there because my squip said I had to.”

“Did it? Or did you go on your own volition?”

Before the silence between them stretched for too long, the bell rings, ending the period. Rich flees the classroom to go to his next class. Jeremy packs his things and starts juggling ideas for how to do the assignment.

* * *

“You just keep rehearsing the lines we just went over, I’ll be right back.”

Jeremy gets up and goes to the toilet. Rich is left alone in the Heere living room, a few sheets of paper scattered around him and a pencil tucked behind his ear. He brings up the script and starts reading the lines in a falsetto.

“O Hamlet, thine gestures do touch me to my heart. Only the purity of nothing can prevent the culmination of our love-” he pauses at a certain phrase, having certain he knows what it means.

“Purity of nothing…” he mutters. He brings out his phone and starts looking up the No Fear edition of Hamlet and searches for clues about the word nothing. He finally finds a footnote that says that ‘nothing’ is a 16th century slang for-

“Vagina.”

Rich jolts at Jeremy’s sudden presence. “You, Heere, are a lot nastier than I thought.”

Jeremy raises his hands in a gesture that says “I didn’t do anything”. “Don’t thank me, thank the man who made that slang popular. And invented the word puke.”

Rich puts down his script. "No way some old British fart invented the word puke."

Jeremy nods his head. He brings out his phone and shows evidence of all the words Shakespeare has invented and how most of their first appearances are at his plays. With every new and crass word they encounter, Rich's smile becomes broader and his laughter becomes freer. Eventually, they end up joking with each other and speculating about how Shakespeare would fare in the 21st century.

"Do you think he'd have a Twitter? I think he'd have a Twitter," Rich says. "I mean, like, that Hamilton guy has one so he might be buddies with him or something."

Jeremy blinks at the Lin Manuel-Miranda reference. "You did not describe who I think you just describe, did you?"

Rich cocks his head at the question, then he blinks slowly to let his eyes widen and his jaw become slack as he realises what he's let slip. His eyes dart towards Jeremy, who is sporting a growing grin.

"Nonono," Rich says rapidly. "I am NOT saying what you think I'm saying. I do NOT have any connection with-"

Jeremy imitates the iconic melody that introduces a Hamilton song. He sloppily begins the musical's first track, trying to snap and sing at the same time. Rich covers his ears and shakes his head.

"Totally don't know what you're saying, you musical-loving NERD!" Rich says. He lets his foot tap to the rhythm of the snaps alongside Jeremy, but he's seated so that Jeremy can't see his foot moving.

Rich's facade crumbles when Jeremy messes up a line and Rich corrects him.

"Started workin', clerkin' for his late mother's landlord / Trading sugarcane _and rum_ all the things he can't afford." He claps a hand over his mouth when he realises his mishap. Jeremy grins. He starts making finger guns at Rich.

"Is you playing Ophelia letting your... artistic side reveal itself?"

Rich blushes and hides his cheeks by bringing up a script to his face. "Let's just get back to rehearsing, tallass."

He would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy listening to Jeremy awkwardly rap a musical.

* * *

Rich pokes at his food with a fork. He looks up at the ceiling and groans. Jake arrives at the table he's sitting and sits beside him.

"What's wrong, dude?" he asks.

"Our English class is doing this thing and I have to play a girl because we were the only ones left."

"And who's we?"

"Jeremy."

"Who?"

"The guy I picked on since sophomore year but stopped at junior year?"

Jake's eyes ponder for a second before brightening up. "Yeah! That guy who freaked out at the Menlo Park Mall that one time!"

Rich frowns at the incident Jake just described but continues. "I mean, ever since the whole... squip thing..." He takes a bite of his food before continuing. "It's like... It's like I lost something."

Jake looks around and under the table. "What did you lose, bro?"

Rich jabs at Jake's arm. "Stop playing stupid, you know what I mean."

Jake looks at his friend's sincere and concerned face. He sees the sincerity of the comment and drops his usual cheerful demeanour. "But what has this got to do with the assignment?"

Rich begins on a rant and Jake listens because although the other boy's rants may seem winding and convoluted, they always resolved and ended to a simple point that suddenly makes all the other things he said before make sense.

"Is it too much to ask for a rival around here? A charming foe? An opponent to engage passionately in a battle of the lips?" He stops after hearing himself. He looks at Jake, who is grinning that same shit-eating grin he saw Jeremy gave him back when they were practicing their lines.

"I mean wits. Wits!" He deflates in his seat. "Fuck. See, this is what I mean! It's like: are we friends now or do I still have to be an ass to him?"

Jake considers the situation and his friend's situation. He looks around the room, gathering his thoughts and composing his response. Finally, he turns to Rich and says, "I think you like him."

Rich scrunches his face up to hide his embarrassment so he can mask it with fake anger. "What is it with everyone and me liking shit!"

* * *

Rich enters the 'stage' with a red wig on his head. It'll make it more convincing, Jeremy tells him right before their turn to present. He resists the urge to scratch at his scalp. He twirls around the stage and sighs with great exaggeration.

"Oh, my love, thine honeyed words do tent me to the quick," he says in his well-practiced falsetto. He continues on with the lines and eventually comes to the part where he reads Hamlet's letter. They agreed that Rich would read out the letter while Jeremy executes the actions stated in the letter around him. When Rich talks about climbing mountains to search for Ophelia, Jeremy imitates scaling up a mountain and huffing dramatically while he's at it. When Rich reads about finding the finest gold and fabrics to give to his one true love, Jeremy alternates between looking at his outstretched right hand or his outstretched left hand, as if considering two choices of fine fabric.

What he wasn't expecting, though, are the next lines.

"And when the night comes, oh how I long for you to be with me in my arms-"

Rich yelps when Jeremy sweeps him off his feet and carries him bridal style so he could look deeply into his eyes. Being held like this didn't feel so bad, Rich thinks. He gulps at their closeness and feels nothing but paralysis when Jeremy leans in close and closes his eyes.

Rich closes his eyes, too, and even slightly puckers his lips. He feels the gap close between them and-

Jeremy drops Rich and the other boy falls on his ass. The class laughs and Jeremy crouches down to check on Rich.

"Oh jeez, I'm so sorry! You were a lot heavier than I thought!"

"And you're a lot stronger than I thought you were," Rich replies.

Mr. Reyes approaches them and shoos them off the stage. "Thank you for the... originality," he says.

Rich would be lying if he said he didn't think about that moment for the rest of the day.

**Author's Note:**

> i owe much of my love to [this post](http://swordlesbianopinions.tumblr.com/post/165995645691/is-it-too-much-to-ask-for-a-rival-around-here-a) for inspiring me


End file.
